Yippee for Slayer, they made King Diamond, Machine Head, As I Lay Dying, and Shadows Fall eat hot wet mud tonight by taking home the Grammy for Top Metal Performance. And there to accept the chalice of Grammy blood was the Araya brood. The cute clan rises each morning by warming their tootsies on a bed of freshly-laid hot coals raked by groundskeeper Satan, so the red carpet is really no big deal. I’m proud of them, but baffled beyond belief, and brain-blocked by a torrent of tasteless jokes the least offensive of which is wondering how long until Tom Jr. replaces Kerry King in Slayer.

(If this in any way leads to a reality show for the Araya clan, Tom really will go to hell.)

Congratulations to Tom, Kerry, Jeff, and Dave. Maybe next year, King Diamond…


  1. I can’t believe my eyes! thanx for the pic Ian, I don’t think I would’ve run into this bit of news since I despise all things to do with Hollywood awards, I look to you for metal worthy tidbits, keep it up! \m/


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