Welcome, cable TV, VCR, and drive-in cinema fanatics, to a boombox-blasting, battery-sapping countdown of teen comedy soundtrack cuts assembled by Mike “McBeardo” McPadden, author of the new book, TEEN MOVIE HELL: A Crucible of Coming-of-Age Comedies from Animal House to Zapped! Every note on this masterful mixtape assaults the ears like the snap of a keg tap, the rhythm of a ferocious food fight, and a wicked sax solo played by a dog wearing sunglasses. This is your Teen Movie Hell mixtape. Construct it carefully, and use it extremely unwisely!

Track 1: The Circle Jerks—”Moral Majority” from Surf II (1984)

For a movie so outrageously original, the Surf II soundtrack is surprisingly retread-heavy, rolling out reliable righteousness by way of ’60s surf punks (Dick Dale, the Ventures); their ’80s progeny (the Deserters, Jon & the Nightriders); and solid KROQ briquettes (“Talk Talk” and “Mexican Radio” both feature here).

The two boldest picks of Surf II pack are the amyl-nitrate-enflamed Kraut-stomp “Fan Fan Fanatisch” by Berlin electro-shockers Rheingold, and “Moral Majority” by SoCal lords of hardcore Circle Jerks.

Either tantrum works in terms of kicking off the Teen Movie Hell mixtape countdown, but in the spirit of smashing the censors let’s go with this fifty-five-second discharge of skate-rage about not needing “some dumb schmuck” to dictate “what we can watch and read.” Frontman Keith Morris made that statement in 1982, and the sentiment hits even harder in 2019. The more things change, the more they stay so lame.

Read TEEN MOVIE HELL already!

TEEN MOVIE HELL: A Crucible of Coming-of-Age Comedies from Animal House to Zapped!, by Mike “McBeardo” McPadden



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