Thor vs. Cronos of Venom: When Pantera Was a Buxom Babe
Last weekend I was digging out Hanoi Rocks articles from old Kerrang!s to include as backstory with Bazillion Points’ upcoming press mailing of Andy McCoy’s autobiography. I got sidetracked looking for this long-lost photocomic battle between Cronos and Thor, the historic details of which must now immediately be brought to light.
Firstly, this bout ‘tween the “God of Thunder” and “Venom’s Black Metal King” leaves no question about the show business side of heavy metal in its peak years. Cronos looks evil as ever crawling over a castle ruin in his leather underwear—but he’s battling a force of good in a Crazy magazine-style realm laced with bad puns and fake blood! That the battle is waged over Thor’s wife Pantera reminds me that she was the most famous Pantera in heavy metal until about 1991.
Read ‘em and weep with laughter. Courtesy of Kerrang! #68, May 17-30, 1984.
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July 3rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I would rather Pantera be DORO!!! Wouldn’t that be rad?
July 3rd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Fantastic to see this again. Was a regular Kerrap! reader from the ages of seven to seventeen.
July 3rd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Good memories, Ian. Hope all is well on your side.
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
I had totally forgotten about this. Thanks for putting it up here. After a beer run I’m going to be cranking some Venom and Thor back to back.
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:00 pm
[...] A vintage 1984 three-page photo-comic depicting the epic battle between Thor and Cronos of VENOM (fought over Thor’s wife Pantera) has been posted online at the Bazillion Points Blog. [...]
July 5th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
[...] Kerrang featuring Cronos of Venom fighting over Thor’s wife Pantera has become available at the Bazillion Points Blog. Hilarity [...]
July 6th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Keep The Lord Away!
July 6th, 2009 at 11:31 am
[...] the “Too Weird Not to Share” files: Over at Bazillion Points, Ian Christe has dug up a photocomic of Venom’s Cronos doing battle with Thor – yes, [...]
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm
stupid,stupid post get with it Ian……
July 27th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Really, this offended you?
September 27th, 2009 at 8:52 am
I remember seeing Thor back in the day here in my hometown Detroit! Thunda on tha Tundra-Let the Blood run Red etc. great stuff-tho Venom take the crown! I miss the Glory Days of Metal. But a select Few of us still carry the torch! And live the Metal Life each and every day! Thor & Cronos Champions of Metal!!
February 25th, 2010 at 10:53 am
[...] *In fact, Thor name-checked Kerrang! on his album Live In Detroit. When introducing his band, Thor said: “How many people out there read Kerrang!? It’s a magazine based out of England; they call it the heavy metal Bible. Anyhow, Kerrang! billed this young lady over here… this well-endowed young lady… as having the biggest Bristols in rock!” Thor was, of course, referring to the pneumatic Pantera. (Not the band, dumbo!) To see a classic Kerrang! photo-strip featuring Thor battling Cronos of Venom, go here. [...]
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:20 am
I don’t get it, Minta Matias
March 24th, 2010 at 7:26 am
Love the woman’s bum! What the heck is her first name once again?